6.5 weeks out: A change in perspective

I really feel like crap today. I slipped up and over did my fat last night[2tbsp instead of 1], I’m getting my monthly so I’m bloated, my abs look like shit, and I basically feel like a monster or steroids[to clarify I’m not on steroids].

Last week I was on a high.. snap chatting the whole world[aka my boyfriend] photos of my abs on low carb day. I WAS ACTUALLY LOVING LOW CARB DAY!

And now it’s this…Four weeks is quickly approaching and my diet will condense even more and I just keep thinking how will I survive and I don’t even look ready. My coach is fabulous and checks on me regularly but how do you burden someone with thoughts like this? Especially when some days I feel fantastic! I feel like I’m constantly on a damn rollar-coaster [ironically my nickname growing up was rachel, rachel, rollar-coaster]

So I went through my morning feeling like crap, taught a yoga class that was spiritual-less[crap], and then went on Facebook to look at motivational photos stalk others to make me feel like crap. Why am I punishing myself like this?! Then I saw Tabitha’s post [she is competing in Vegas in 4 weeks!] —“I am not gonna pretend… I am tired today. This process is not always pretty and it is not always fun. Yes it would be easy to skip a workout today, let the tired take over but that’s not who I am. The tired reminds me it’s hard and the hard reminds me how great the reward will be. I know this time around I will#beatmybest and for that I am proud. So tired is ok, it’s what you do with the tired that counts” Many times I forget how rewarding this process is and will be because I’m so focused on the food after my show as my reward instead of the discipline I have learned and the muscle I have gained. Those are exceptional rewards that will last a lifetime..

Then I realized if I even want to place… I need to be confident in myself… that confidence will radiate from inside-out, into my ever so graceless walk.. I posted the image below to Ohra Wellness’s Facebook page yesterday. Perhaps it is time to change my perspective on how I feel about my body… and my body will follow.

So I guess that is my weekly goal: Radiate Confidence and change perspective.

Through our bodies we see the world in a ‘new perspective’ during inversions. Having trouble with inversions? Challenge yourself to see things differently in your mind… your body will follow.

7.5 weeks out

This past weekend I switched trainers. I liked my old trainer but I just wasn’t getting enough and it was really frustrating because I felt like my body was not where it needed to be. My biggest issue was I could never get ahold of her… if you’ve ever done a competition before you know support is key. Some people try and juggle too many things at once versus doing one thing and being really great at it. I felt like I had no one, not to mention I spent a whole weekend unsure if she was going to even show up to my show because she had a wedding the day before…… I have extreme anxiety so obviously I was going crazy, I even thought about quitting… coaches shouldn’t make you feel like that.. they should defer you from those thoughts. I was afraid of a lot of things… that I’d hurt her feelings, that another coach wouldn’t take me at 8 weeks, that I wasn’t even ready by any means to be 8 weeks out…but I really need to do what was best for myself to enjoy this process.. you only get one first show.

So I made the switch to Brick House Bodies. I am now part of a TEAM of beautiful and inspiring women!

Tabitha [my new coach] dove right in with me and we pick out a suit this past Sunday. The most fabulous part was that I got to meat with the suit maker, Caron, in person so she could really know my body. I’m obsessed with my suit, the color is perfect and the hip connectors are really make me smile. I can’t believe in less than 2 months my ass will be prancing around on a stage in a competition. I want to cry tears of happiness and excitement just thinking about it! 

 

Ten Weeks Out

This past Saturday marked 10 weeks out… I can’t believe how fast this process is going! I met with Krista to get measured and boy was I in for a surprise.. in four weeks I lost 4% body fat!! I went from 22% to 18% WOOHOO! Seeing these numbers is AH-MAZING! Seeing my progress in photos even more surprising. From here on out I will probably have to work harder to see more results but hey it’s part of the progress right?

 

 

Now that I’ve began cutting things out of my diet I’ve felt way more deprived than ever especially mid summer with birthdays, holidays, parties and BBQ galore surrounding me..  I’ve lost a lot of ‘friends’ bc of my lack of social life… well I guess they are more SELFISH than I thought and not true friends for supporting me and being there for me to lean on… ANYWAYS…Things I have cut out of my diet::Fruit, Cut carbs from 4oz 3x/day to 3oz 3x/day, stevia, almond milk, all nuts, red bull[even the 0 cal and sugar free]. My progress is my only motivation… sometimes I really just wanna give up… I look pretty great already and I’m really happy and I’m sure with 1 cheat per week I could maintain what I have built… BUT I WANT MORE! This is for myself.. No one else! 

Here is 14 weeks vs 10 weeks:

[My boyfriend is a terrible photographer so the angles are horrific I do apologize..]

14 weeks out

10 weeks out

I’m pretty happy with my progress so far..

My only problem is:LACK OF CAFFEINE!!!

The hardest thing for me to let go of may be the red bull bc i’m SO DAMN TIRED all the time… I am starting a new job on the 9th at a fitness facility… hopefully it can work into my schedule… otherwise I’m kinda FKED…mainly bc my food prep skills are half ass bc I have a lot of time on my hands that I can prep every day or two vs. weekly.  I may as well start an IV of coffee[my only form of caffeine!] into my veins… I’m in for a longggg 10 weeks ahead… September 7th cannot come soon enough!